Logic Versus Emotions

So this whole mothering thing is a hard job. At least when I worked in the corporate world, I had work instructions or guidelines or a handbook or something to tell me how something was done. If I didn't (which was often the case), I at least could ask someone else or make it up based on what I knew to be best.


However, I certainly do not have a handbook this time. I sort of can ask someone, but that person's baby is entirely different than mine, so their method may not work for me. That leaves me to making it up based on what I know to be best, which therein lies the problem. What is best...what my mind tells me or what my heart tells me?


My current dilemma is naps. I have Sophie on a pretty good schedule where she naps at the same time everyday. She usually goes to sleep pretty quickly, because her body has adjusted to the schedule so that she's tired when the clock approaches nap time. She now is mobile enough, though, that she immediately sits up in her crib and starts to wiggle around. She lately has discovered that it's fun to throw her binkies through the slats of her crib. While that may be fun for a minute, it leaves her binkiless, which she wants before she can fall asleep. So, here's the dilemma...

1. Do I follow my mind and leave her to cry and learn that throwing the binky out means no binky, because Mommy's not coming back until nap time is over?


2. Do I follow my heart and go in there and retrieve it, because I know she won't sleep well and needs rest?

I've been wishy washy and do a little of each, which isn't good either way. My thought process so far in this parenting thing has been to think about the behavior I want her to have in the future and decide what action to take now that moves us towards that (such as putting her in her crib the first day home from the hospital or not letting her have the binky outside her bed). Now that we're home together all day, it's my internal war between enforcement and insanity. If you've ever been to my house, you probably know that an open floor plan is not optimal for hiding. There's nowhere in my house I can go where I can't hear her crying in her room if she decides to do so. I put on headphones, but I can still here her (maybe it's those supersonic ears that all mothers receive upon being handed their baby). So to save myself the heartache of hearing her cry, I want to go retrieve the binky. To save myself the heartache of not teaching her that Mommy makes the rules, I want the binky to rot on the floor.

Most of you probably don't see the dilemma, because its obvious what you would do (it would be obvious to me for someone else's kid too). Maybe you have children of your own and already have gone through similar situations, so you can answer based on your experiences. I'm in the middle of it and don't have the experience yet, so I'm still waffling. If this was someone else's issue, I'd be saying "teach the lesson now or suffer the consequence of trying to retrain her later".

With all that said, Sophie's quiet as can be in her crib right now, and we don't always have these kinds of problems. Just the other night, I knew she had sat herself up in her bed and didn't know how to get down. I could hear her whining in there for me to come in and lay her down again because she was tired. I stood strong and was going to give her 15 minutes. After about 5, she was quiet. I went in later to check on her, and she was sound asleep on her tummy, curled over one of her stuffed animals. Since then, I've found her sleeping on her tummy multiple times, and I think she likes it. She's always liked having her blanket over her face to sleep (I had to pin the blanket to her bed to keep her from suffocating herself), so this is a way for her to snuggle her face into something (she still can breathe...I check at least 3 times before going to bed every night). Since she's started sitting up in bed and going back to sleep on her tummy, she seems to sleep better and longer in the morning. Maybe she's more comfortable. That should be a lesson to me that a little discomfort on her and my parts equals a better outcome for all in the end.

Anyway, I am making a goal to stick to my goal of teaching her the right way the first time. If she wakes up before the end of nap time, then she can play in her bed. If she throws her binky out, it means no binky. She'll get tired enough and go to sleep (I think). I'll keep you posted. Use the poll at the right to pass along your opinion. I'm interested in what people think about this.